Never? Never
by Alastair
Summary: The girls get a chance to know Trowa Barton better through a nice game of 'I've Never.'


Title: "Never?" "Never"  
  
Rating: PG-13 (because Sally isn't too good with wine and the fact that she doesn't get any oral. Poor thing. Stupid little Wufei. ^___^)  
  
Category: Humor and a bit o' Angst (a little hard to believe, huh?)  
  
Pairings: TBxMU and others; though Midii doesn't show up in this.  
  
Disclaimer: These folks aren't mine. But I do own a Rubik's Cube tm! Don't worry, Dorothy, I've never solved it either.  
  
Summary: The girls get a chance to know Trowa Barton better through a nice game of 'I've Never.'  
  
Warnings: It's 'I've Never!' Of course there'll be warnings! Reference to sexual situations and such. This probably isn't for the kiddies much.  
  
Author: Alastair  
  
Author's Note: Again, Trowa is 17 in the series in my little world. He is far too mature to be 15. I've also decided that the G-boys and girls live in the same house. And yes, they are old enough to drink in here. And no, I don't know where the other boys have gone to, so don't ask. Okay, okay . . . uh, they're in Las Vegas! Are you happy now?! ^___^ Oh and Catherine has a boy friend whom has nothing to do with this story whatsoever. I just wanted everyone to know.  
  
***  
  
"Woohoo!!!" Hilde cried out. "No boys for a whole week!"  
  
The other girls chorused behind her, "Yippee!!!"  
  
A voice spoke from somewhere to the side of them, "I wouldn't say that . . ."  
  
Catherine blinked a few times and then pouted. Hilde glared at him, "Damn it, Trowa Barton. We were going to have a party and everything! Now, you're going to stop us from having any fun!"  
  
"Who ever said that?" he asked coolly.  
  
"Well, you're the silent, stoic dude, aren't you?" he raised an eyebrow at this. "Of course, you'll try to stop us."  
  
"You don't really know me do you?"  
  
". . . well . . . no, not exactly . . ."  
  
"I know what we should do this week!" Cried out Relena suddenly, she huddled the girls together as Trowa watched in slight amusement. After a while of talking to each other secretly they all grinned evilly and looked at Trowa. Then Relena gestured to Hilde and Sally to do something and they left the room. The other three girls slowly advanced on him, like they were stalking him. Trying to make him feel at ease, so that he would not run.  
  
Catherine asked, "Hey, Trowa, do you want to play 'I've Never?'"  
  
Trowa considered this for a moment, "Okay-" those poor girls looked about ready to fall down from surprise "-how do you play?"  
  
While, the girls explained the rules to him, Hilde and Sally came back with two crates, which they said contained wine.  
  
***  
  
Now sitting down in a circle in the living room around the oval coffee table with the wine and their glasses sitting on it, they were ready to play.  
  
"Okay, youngest goes first," said Sally.  
  
"Me!" cried out Hilde. "Okay . . . um, I've never piloted a Gundam before."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Sorry it was the first thing that came to mind."  
  
Trowa drank a good sized sip of wine and waited for Sally, "I've never killed for pleasure."  
  
No one drank to that.  
  
Dorothy's turn, "I've never . . . had any coffee before."  
  
Trowa, Cathy, Sally and Hilde drank some of their wine. Trowa paused to think on it and then said, "I've never had a make-believe tea party."  
  
"Hey, no fair!"  
  
"You big bully!"  
  
"Trowa, that's not nice, you have pictures of me doing that don't you?"  
  
"Nice one."  
  
"I'm Chinese; of course, I had make-believe tea parties when I was younger!"  
  
"Drink up, ladies."  
  
***  
  
A little bit later on, Trowa was definitely a little more tipsy than usual. Hilde was giggling with Sally for some strange reason. Catherine was playing with Dorothy's hair whom looking like she was tipping over. Relena was a little bit better than everyone else, "I've never kissed someone of the same sex."  
  
No one drank, but Dorothy began to giggle too. Catherine tried to focus on something as she spoke, "I've never . . . um, oops, I forgot . . . no wait, I've never drove a motorcycle."  
  
"Damn it!" Trowa drank a whole glass.  
  
Hilde, "My turn!!! Uh . . . I've never had fantasies of Treize and Zechs together."  
  
"Well, now I will!" exclaimed Catherine whom then grabbed a bottle and started guzzling it down.  
  
Trowa just put his hands over his eyes and shouted, "Bad mental image! Bad mental image!!!"  
  
Sally seemed to be trying to think and then said, "I've never peed on someone's head."  
  
Everyone blinked a few times in surprise.  
  
Dorothy stated, "I've never been kissed. Quatre's too shy."  
  
Everyone else had a glass of wine. "Hey, Trowa, who was it?" Hilde asked.  
  
Trowa just blushed.  
  
Relena told him, "It's your turn, Trowa."  
  
Trowa blinked a few times before saying, "I've never had sex in a Gundam."  
  
Relena grimaced, but took a sip of her wine. Her face flushed afterward as everyone stared at her in disbelief. She mumbled, "He can be very creative when he wants to be . . . I've never left someone that loved me. Stupid man . . ."  
  
Trowa looked and watched as no one took a drink and as his hand reached for a whole bottle. And in a strange way he knew not of the way they were staring at him, but in a way he did know and he was horrified.  
  
"What was her name?" Sally asked when he was done with the entire bottle.  
  
"Midii," he looked up at them and realized that they were waiting for more details, but he said nothing else.  
  
They sighed, a bit disappointed, knowing that was likely all they'd get for now. Catherine, *sounding* a bit more serious now, said, "I've never licked anything or anyone . . ." then she broke down into giggles and as did the other girls.  
  
***  
  
An hour or so later, since Dorothy had collapsed unconscious, she was excluded from the game for the time being.  
  
"I've never . . . um . . . I've never babysat for someone."  
  
All of the girls took a swig of their wine. Hilde asked, "You've never babysat?" He shook his head, "Well then, you can baby-sit for me and Duo."  
  
"Are you and Duo having . . . ?"  
  
"Nope, but we're going to try."  
  
"Hey, I want to baby-sit for you too," whined Relena.  
  
"You can all baby-sit for me."  
  
Sally raised her hand, "My turn! My turn! I've never had sex! That damned man!"  
  
Relena, Hilde, Catherine and Trowa started absorbing wine. Actually, Trowa had already been drinking some upon hearing about the new Maxwell that was to come. Sally said, "Trowa! I've never had sex!"  
  
He stopped drinking to say, "Why are you telling me this? Go complain to Wufei. *He's* your boyfriend." He began to drink again.  
  
She asked him, "Have you ever had sex?"  
  
He stopped and looked down at his bottle of wine. After a while he said, "I met Midii again before the war and we got drunk and did some stupid things. I thought that it might work, but when I became Trowa Barton, I had to leave her again, but for a different reason. I haven't seen her since that last night."  
  
They nodded as if it all made perfect sense, though they didn't understand half of it.  
  
***  
  
It didn't look pretty. Trowa appeared to be asleep, but you could see his eye open every once in a while to look at one of the girls or see him reach for a glass to drink out of and he'd murmur what he'd never done. Relena was tilted over on Catherine and Catherine was tilted over on Relena, both were more or less holding each other up. Sally was sitting on the floor, having slipped on it a few turns ago and not realizing that she had fallen to get back up again. Though she wouldn't have been able to seeing as Dorothy had taken up her recently vacated seat by lying halfway on the couch being shared by Hilde. And Hilde would sometimes stare into nothing, hiccup and repeat, but if the others yelled at her or poked her enough she would get out of her trance long enough to warble what she hadn't done.  
  
"I've never stabbed someone that I love."  
  
Dorothy glared at Hilde, "I didn't love him then, it doesn't count."  
  
"Yes, it does!" chorused the others. Dorothy upon seeing that they wouldn't let this go had a sip of wine.  
  
"I've never given my boyfriend a blow-job. I refuse to. If he isn't giving me oral, he doesn't deserve it either."  
  
Everyone stared at her in disbelief before Hilde, Catherine and Relena drank a full glass. Trowa just blinked a few times and then fell on the floor and started laughing. Sally, upon realizing what she just said had the dignity to blush. The girls looked at Trowa worriedly for a split second before Dorothy said, "I've never . . . I've never solved one of those damned Rubik's Cubes tm!"  
  
Trowa paused laughing to swallow a sip and then resumed his laughing episode. Hilde then wobbled down to the ground next to him and shouted very closely into his ear, "It's your turn!"  
  
"Aaagh! . . . oh, hi Hilde."  
  
"Hi Trowa."  
  
"Whatcha doin'?"  
  
"I'm telling you that it's your turn."  
  
"You're not doing a very good job of it. I don't think that I'm listening." *WHACK* "Ow! I've never hit you before, what did I do?"  
  
Everyone else -except Hilde - started drinking straight from the bottle.  
  
***  
  
"I've never heard Heero say 'I love you,' to me."  
  
". . . uh . . . I've never heard Daniel say that either."  
  
"I've never regretted telling Duo that I love him."  
  
". . . I've never heard Wufei tell me that he loved me, stupid little man . . ."  
  
". . . I've never had to tell Quatre that I love him, he already knew, but I did it anyway."  
  
". . . . . . . . . I've never told Midii how much I loved her . . . . . . I never had the chance."  
  
***  
  
"Damn it, we're out of wine!" said Trowa whom then seemed ill.  
  
The girls looked at each other and Sally said, "We've been doing this for the last four hours, we should quit."  
  
The others seemed to agree because they all fell asleep almost instantly and Trowa flopped back onto the floor from his chair.  
  
End 


End file.
